Boy Talk
by Bittersweet Escape
Summary: "I'm gonna climb him like a tree." An Entry for the Meet The Mate Contest.


Hiiiiiiiii all!

This was my entry for the Meet The Mate Contest. Right now this is being reworked into a multi chapter story, but for now I wanted to upload this onto my profile as a THANK YOU to all those who voted and reviewed this little idea of mine.

More to come soon, I pinkie promise. :)

And please, please go and check out the other amazing stories at the Meet the Mate contest site! They're all amazing!

 **Boy Talk**

"His name is Edward."

"Edward?"

"He just moved out here. His dad is a lawyer and he's taking over at Newton's old firm."

" _Edward_? Seriously?"

"He's nineteen, plays guitar, has a younger sister-"

"I mean, what kind of name is Edward? Have we reverted back a century?"

"Oh my god, will you stop focusing on the name?"

"Dude," I lift my sunglasses from my eyes, aiming them at my best friends tits. "You're flashing the whole beach."

Rosalie, being ever the optimist, shrugs her shoulder and gives a little shake for good measure before plopping back down on her stomach, arms folded beneath her head.

"Rosie, go out with me?" Emmett McCarty shouts in the distance, his friends forgotten and the volley ball frozen in his hand as he gapes at my best friend.

"Not a chance, loser." She calls back as I laugh.

She'll give in to him eventually. She's been crushing on him for months.

"So, as I was saying," She huffs, flipping her sunglasses atop her head to look at me. "This guy is hot. Like, brutally hot."

" _Okay_ …so is he your next conquest?" I ask, confused.

"Nope. He's yours." She grins.

Now it's my turn to sit up.

"Excuse me?" I scoff. "I don't think so."

"What? Why not?" She pouts, that's Rosalie Hale killer pout that gets her everything her pink little heart desires.

 _Nice try. I'm immune._

"For starters, I'm sixteen."

"Almost seventeen."

I wave her off. "Not the point. You know what my mom's like. She'd freak the hell out if I brought home a nineteen year old guy. Hell, she'd freak out if I brought home _any_ guy."

My mother. I love her, I really do. But she's fucking crazy.

You know those woman you see, standing in a pack outside the superstore who are all "I made a tofu meatloaf the other night in place of a butchered animal" and "Well, when he left me I vowed I'd never let the same thing happen to my daughter. So I've told her, no dating till she's thirty five,".

Yeah, that's my mom.

Rosalie has to sneak me sugar on a daily basis because Renee thinks that Candy is the devil's food and will make you fat from just one bite.

Honestly.

I tell her I'm hooking up with a nineteen year old? She's lock me the fuck up, chains and all.

"Screw her. Just don't tell her." Rose gives me a look, like _duh._

" _Pfffft_ , like that's going to work. Number two, who said I want a boyfriend?" I ask.

"God, here we go." She mutters, rolling her eyes.

"I am perfectly happy being single, thank you very much." I huff. "I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I don't need a man. I am young, free and living it up. I'm-"

"Okay, Taylor Swift." Rosalie butts in, holding up a hand. "Cool it. I wasn't talking about dating."

"I don't do one night stands." I fold my arms behind my head, lying back on my cushiony beach towel.

"I'm not talking about one night stands either. I'm just saying that Edward would be the perfect guy for you to hook up with now and again."

"Like a friends with benefits sort of thing?" I ask.

"Exactly." She points at me with a big grin. "With lots and lots of benefits."

"Don't you have to be friends first? I mean, its _friends_ with benefits. Not strangers with benefits." I point out to her.

"Semantics," She mutters, waving me off. "The point is, this is the perfect thing for you. No boyfriend to bring home to psycho mommy, and you get a regular groping. It's a win win situation."

"I don't need a regular groping." I _so_ need a regular groping.

"Say it with me, Bells. Orgasm." She strings out the word, all breathy like she's actually having one.

Emmett stares in our direction again, his jaw hanging open. "I can give you one of those, Rosalie!"

"Bite me, Steroids!" She yells back before turning to me.

"I can do that myself you know." I comment.

"What, steroids?" She gapes at me.

"No, Jesus." I laugh. "Orgasm. Pretty capable."

"As am I," She smirks. "But it's always better when someone else takes the wheel."

"Whatever. Anyway, what if I don't like him? Like, what if I don't think he's attractive."

Another fair point. Mine and Rose's tastes are completely different. She tends to go for big guys. Muscled to the extreme, tall, dark hair. I tend to go for things like a killer smile, nice eyes, humor.

Safe to say my last relationship lasted two weeks and twenty seconds. Two weeks' worth of foreplay and twenty seconds of virginity loss with Tyler Crowley.

It was not my finest moment. Or his, I guess.

"What part of brutally hot do you not understand?" She leans towards me, hands cupped over her mouth and wide eyes as she tells me loudly, " _Bru-tah-lee haawt_."

"Yeah, I get it." I palm her face, pushing her away. "He might not like me, you know. He may be into blonds."

"No, I'm pretty sure he likes brunette's babe." She smiles.

"Another thing you've interrogated him on?" I chuckle.

"Nope. Just basing it on the look he's giving you right now."

" _WHAT?_ "

"Dude, take it easy!" She whisper yells, reaching over to adjust my bikini top. "Stick your chest out, fix your hair and for god sake act aloof."

"Right. Yep. Can do," I stutter out, wrapping my hair up into a bun.

I slip my sunglasses back on and puff my chest out before turning…only to gape like a fish.

Brutally hot does not do this guy justice.

Lean muscular body in a pair of low fitting, black cargo shorts. Hair that you just want to run your fingers through. He's a boy, but a man and so damn gorgeous.

"See?" Rose whispers.

"I'm gonna climb him like a tree and play with his hair." Is what comes out of my mouth.

"Huh?" She stares at me, but there's no time to respond as Hottie Mcdamn has just plopped down beside me.

"Hey Edward, this is Bella. I-Aaaaargh!"

Rose doesn't get to finish as Emmett scoops her up and throws her over his shoulder.

"Be back later!" He yells to us as he runs down the beach, Rose howling with laughter as they go.

I turn to Edward and clear my throat awkwardly. "So…hey."

He gives me a nod. "How's it going?"

Three words. He's said three words and I'm dumbstruck.

The only thing I can think of as I stare into his bright green eyes is Rosalie was right.

Screw my mom.

~Three Months Later~

"Mom, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Edward. Edward, this is my mother, Renee."

"Hi, hows it going?" He smiles, holding out a hand for her to shake.

She stares at it. Then at me. Then his other hand, which is clasped tightly in mine.

Then she faints.

 _Thud._

"Holy shit!" Edward exclaims, holding out his hand like he means to catch her but he's already too late.

I sigh. "Told you."

He grabs a pillow from the couch, placing it underneath her head. "Should we move her?"

"Nah, she'll only be out for a few minutes." I grab his hand, pulling him back up to me. "Let's go make out befoe she wakes up and lectures us on birth control and over eating."


End file.
